4: Pork Belly

From what point of your past memory can you confidently say your memory starts?

Unless you write a diary everyday you won’t be able to remember anything clearly. Well, it might be true that you can remember a big event that etches itself in your memory. There is one such memory for me. Even though the event happened so long ago, I remember it like it was yesterday.

The event was very big that it also etched itself in someone else’s memory. It might be a tragedy that that person now relates me along with the event. Especially if the memory is not very refreshing one.

 

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One day in May, when I became an initiator for worsening the relationship between Pork Belly and our classmates with the fight, Pork Belly was getting beaten by our teacher. Pork Belly did not bring in his homework and was getting his punishment. Our teacher swung his punishment stick into Pork Belly’s open palms until they were swollen red. I watched with my wrinkled brows. I wasn’t in a good mood.

For two weeks, I watched Pork Belly and found out few things about him and the interactions that he had with his peers and our teachers. I was bothered by Pork Belly since the fight and could not help but observe him from the distance. Even though Pork Belly’s attitude was neutral in the classroom, the students rejected him with contempt. Our teachers punished Pork Belly daily without much compassion and tolerance. Somehow, everything about how Pork Belly was treated in school got on my nerve.

At the time, I did not ask myself why I was feeling disturbed by what I found.

Maybe because I convinced myself that I did not have any psychological debt toward Pork Belly.

 

 

The last period of Wednesday was the art. Every students had on their aprons and carried water containers for our water color projects. We spread out our watercolor projects and was going to finish what we started on our last art period.

“Please finish your watercolor paintings and hand them in by today. Remember what I said? The school is going to pick the best painting and apply for an art state contest. When you guys are done, hand them to Yun-Su, he is going to gather and bring them down to the office.”

 

As soon as the teacher finished talking, the classroom became noisy with students moving about and finishing their watercolor paintings.

There was no doubt that Yun-Su’s painting was going to be picked but I could not help but get my hopes up.

 

I understood that Yun-Su was good at everything. He was smart, good with sports, and interacted well with his peers. Although he was better at everything else, I was confident that my drawing skill was at the same level as Yun-Su’s. Aiming to be picked along with Yun-Su’s watercolor painting, I started to paint the last of my colors in my painting. My piece was titled ‘a Trip in a Dream’. It was a painting fill with extravagant imagination and I liked what I created so far on my paper.

 

 

It was five minutes into the art period when the classroom echoed with the art teacher’s loud scolding. Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned their head to look.

“You didn’t bring them again? I told you last time to bring your supplies! What am I to do when you just sit there without any preparation?”

Our art teacher was a middle-aged woman who looked older than my mother. She was yelling with her high-pitched voice at Pork Belly who was bowing his head and staring at his desk.

“*sigh*.. You really..”

The teacher rubbed her temples as if she was tired of scolding him. She turned her attention over to Pork Belly’s desk pair and spoke in an irritated tone of voice.

“You, give him one of your watercolor papers.”

“Uhm.. This is my last paper.”

Taken aback, Pork Belly’s desk pair spoke in a small voice. The teacher frowned and turned her gaze over to the class.

She scanned one student at a time. The teacher seemed to be looking for a volunteer.

At that moment, my hand slowly rose up on their own.

 

“I.. will give it to him.”

 

I felt few of the student’s surprised gazes and turned red, but I got up from my seat and walked toward Pork Belly with my sketchbook. I stood in front of Pork Belly’s desk.

Then, without understanding what I was doing, I laid my sketching on Pork Belly’s desk. I was in shock still when I moved to tear off one of the papers from my sketchbook.

 

‘트르르륵~’(tearing sound; Thrururururuk(?))

However, it wasn’t only the sound of paper tearing from the spring that reached my ears.

“Shit.. Full of yourself.”

Pork Belly’s voice was very small, it barely reached my ears. He was also grinding his teeth. I stopped my hand for a few second before I finished tearing the paper and returning to my seat.

 

 

I repeated Pork Belly’s words over and over in my mind as I blamed myself for doing something unnecessary when I felt a light tap on my back.

“Good job.”

Is he complimenting me? Yun-Su nodded at me appreciatively with a solemn expression on his face. I was able to relax.

It was amazing how one nod from Yun-Su can relieve me of my distress. Whatever it was, it made me feel at ease when Yun-Su decided things. His decisions felt right.

Even though I did not make decision purely out of kindness, even though I was regretting my choice after I had made it, and even though I did not deserve any praise, Because of Yun-Su’s word, I felt better.

 

I was stupid then for being busy thinking about my own feelings and not thinking about how Pork Belly accepted my action.

That insensitive part about my thinking that day came back to bite me two days later.

 

Before arriving to school that morning, I was excited. The art teacher informed me and Yun-Su that both of our art works were chosen to represent our school and would be sent to compete in state art contest the day before. The teacher also told us that our art works would be hung up in the back of our classroom for a day. It was that day.

The class president had to follow our teacher to the office with all our paintings, so I got all the attention from the classmates. They came rushing over to me and offered their congrats. I accepted their praise with embarrassment and pride.

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TN: Thank you for your support AllergictoHiking! I appreciate your support and will do my best on Pork Belly translation.